If I was a lion

I am a really happy bloke, thank you very much. 

I have a very good family, the perfect job, enough skills and talents to get by and a very positive take on life. You think I couldn't ask for more, right? Well, yeah...kind of. Actually, I have a tiny single wish left. I wish I could experience what it feels like to be loved again. For the past couple of years after my recent relationship ended, I have vowed to search for the right person who is going to be perfect. I desperately looked everywhere for that single person who's gonna make me feel appreciated and loved. I failed. I miserably failed. I ended up hurting myself again and again. There were times I just want to sit quietly and cry while I drink a beer, listen to songs that are certified to break any heart, and just quit anything related to hope. 

My friends scolded me for doing such. They told me I should stop searching and just wait for the right time. They said I am the kind of person that should be 'liked' and not the one 'liking'. I realized that a little too late when I met someone whom I never thought I'd be liking. We clicked, just like that. However, certain complications made me feel that this could end up in another heartbreak so I'm really holding back - and right now, it hurts. 

I just want to share this because I need to vent out without prejudice from others. 

I am happy, I just can't convince myself that I deserve to be happy - alone or not. :'|

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"It's not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that"